


Ruination

by edensgay (buckybarfs)



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: M/M, NSFW, and i cant stare at long paragraphs without getting a headache, and their relationship is unhealthy and they know it, but this is not yandere, first chapter is smut lmao, i write short paragraphs because i have a short attention span, idk gabriel and john have had it rough!, its john x male cultist okay, its typical far cry 5 stuff ok, probably triggers for abuse and injuries?, theres a lot of taking and taking and giving and giving but its never even, theyre sad, this is obsession and pining and unhealthy relationships, this is probably mostly gonna be sad lmao, this isnt yandere
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 18:07:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18057443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckybarfs/pseuds/edensgay
Summary: He would never be to John what John was to him, he knew this intimately. But still he found himself waking up wrapped in silk sheets, the ghost of scarred hands still wrapped around him. John Seed was never there when he woke up, but still he stayed, he waited. Waited, hoping that one day he would mean as much to John as John meant to him.He’d wait forever if he had to.John loved everyone, every last one of them. Everyone who came into contact with the man had a piece of John Seed in them, he was more than just The Baptist. He carried the spirit of redemption, of forgiveness in his very soul. He was the whole damn Baptistery.But the love a redeemer had for a sinner was not enough.





	Ruination

**Author's Note:**

> this will be updated out of order! i hope you enjoy :>

It was easy to tell when John had a bad day, he’d fling the front door open and stomp his boots on the greeting mat. His voice would reach a certain pitch as he barked orders, his cheeks hot with anger and his mouth pulled back in a snarl. 

 

It was a bad day.

 

Gabriel had been in Johns bathroom, fresh out of the shower with a too soft towel wrapped around his waist when he heard the front door slam open. He paused, razor half raised towards his face as he heard the scuffing against the mat. The razor was set to the side, out of the way, as he heard John giving orders to the guards, his voice just a little higher pitched than normal. 

 

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs echoed in the now empty ranch, anyone who’d been inside had been sent out or had scurried out when they saw Johns mood. 

 

He stared at the reflection in the mirror, eyes focused on the spot just above his shoulder, as if he could see the word scrawled on the other side if he squinted hard enough. _Envy_. He was _envious_ , even after the confession. He’d tried and tried to rid himself of the sin but had failed constantly. 

 

John didn’t love him the way he needed him to, John loved everyone, Gabriel included. But it wasn’t enough. The familiar feeling of _envy_ rose up in his throat, threatening to suffocate him if he didn’t stomp it out. 

 

The footsteps grew closer, and his eyes glazed as he retreated into his own fantasy.

 

When John entered the room Gabriel pictured him smiling, adoration in his eyes as he gazed upon his lover. Instead of the anger cast over his expression and the _lust_ in his eyes. 

 

John’s nailed trailed down his back, angry and rough, leaving jagged red lines in their wake. Gabriel pretended they were feather light, a lovers caress. It was hard, it was fast, it was what John needed and Gabriel was willing to give him whatever he needed. 

 

“Hello, pet.” Words like a double edged sword, sweet and taunting. Gabriel knew he shouldn’t fall prey to it, shouldn’t relax and fall down the rabbit hole that was John Seed.

 

But he did, head lolling back onto Johns shoulder as the man placed a hand on his hip, the other undoing the towel still wrapped around his waist. His cock was already half hard, delighted at the idea of being used. When John noticed this he let out a chuckle, short and cruel, knowing exactly why his lover was so ready. 

 

The hand on his hip stroked the skin tenderly for a moment, before John dug his short nails in and pulled Gabriel flush against himself. The movement was sudden, so aggressive Gabriel found himself surprised, a harsh gasp tearing itself from his throat. 

 

Another chuckle, this time as a hand knotted itself into the bun at the nape of his neck, possessive as John forced him to bare his neck. The hand on his hip moved to stroke him, dry hand grating on soft flesh, tugging a whimper from his throat. John used the hand in his hair to guide him until he was bent over the counter, needy and waiting. 

 

It was John’s turn to gasp, as he always did when he saw the sin on the others shoulder. In awe of the courage Gabriel displayed, wearing his sin on his shoulder. Bearing the weight of his wrongdoings on his delicate skin, baring himself to John right now. 

 

A dull throbbing started at his temples as John let go of his hair, hand trailing down his neck to trace over the letters he’d engraved into Gabriels skin. 

 

John knew that Gabriel struggled with his sin everyday, as much as John struggled with his own, and he so bravely wore it for all to see. Now that was courage. 

 

Something in the air changed as John continued to trace the letters eyes far away as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. Suddenly it wasn’t Gabriels imagination anymore, the touch on his shoulder was barely a touch at all, nimble fingers ghosting over black ink. A chill ran down his spine, goosebumps erupting over his skin as he tried to keep from shaking.  This hadn't happened before, and he was scared. Scared about what it _could_ mean, about what it _would_ mean.

 

The hand on his dick stopped its rough strokes instead planting itself back onto his hip, digging in just enough to turn him to face John. The hand that had been on his shoulder joined the other, a hand on each hip, grounding Gabriel. 

 

John saw the uncertainty on his face, the uncertainty and hope in his eyes and felt a swell in his chest. Gabriel was brave and he planned on showing him just how much he admired the bravery. “Touch me.” It was rare that John allowed anyone to touch him, to feel the torment that boiled under his skin and the scars from a life left behind. 

 

His movements were hesitant as he unbuttoned John’s vest with shaking hands, waiting for the other shoe to drop, the vest slid off his shoulders and hit the floor. Nothing. 

 

As he unbuttoned the shirt John’s hand on his hip tightened, his breath catching in his throat. His hands reached the bottom of the shirt and for a brief moment he entertained the idea of pushing it off John’s shoulders, but quickly squashed it. 

 

John was being brave, just like Gabriel.

 

His hands trailed over the firm planes of his lovers stomach, tracing over some of the miscellaneous tattoos John had collected.  His movements were slow, afraid of pushing John past his limits. But in a show of trust John took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze as his thumb traced over the cross on the back of his hand.

 

“Gabriel.” His voice was soft, needy almost and Gabriel felt a swell of _pride_. John needed him, for once it wasn’t just Gabriel who was vulnerable and willing to give, John needed him just as badly. 

 

Hands more steady and no longer trembling with uncertainty he unbuckled John’s belt, tugging the jeans down to his knees. The silk briefs hid little, John’s dick pressing against the fabric, the wet spot near the tip of his cock was not subtle, but it _was_ an ego boost.

 

Gabriel took care not to take advantage of the situation, to take care of John how he knew the man needed to be taken care of. His hand palming John through the cloth, eliciting a filthy groan from the other. 

 

He pulled the briefs down, just enough to free him without exposing him. He held his free hand up to John’s face, wondering if it would be too much. Without hesitation John spit into his palm, locking eyes as he did so. 

 

A jolt of wonder ran through him and went straight to his dick as he realized this was the first time in a long time John had let himself be this vulnerable, and he’d chosen Gabriel to witness it. 

 

The wet hand enveloped John’s dick as the other found a home on the mans narrow hip. He gave a few cautionary strokes, not wanting to take too much. John took the reigns, setting his own pace as he thrusted into Gabriels strokes. His lover was more than willing to relinquish the small amount of control, to allow John that small comfort. 

 

One of John’s hands wrapped around his neck, fingers toying with the long hair that had fallen from his bun. The other wrapped around Gabriels cock, stroking him to the same beat of his own thrusts. 

 

Both men groaned, John’s high pitched, desperation seeping into the vocals. Gabriel’s more throaty, the man living for the control he’d been given. 

 

Deciding to push his luck he batted John’s hand away from his dick, ignoring the annoyed grumble directed at him. In a jerky movement he pulled the other man closer, close enough that he could wrap his hand around both of their cocks, stroking them together. 

 

It had been years since John allowed this kind of intimacy, his relationship with Gabriel had been going on for the better part of six months and the man had yet to see him with his shirt off. He’d never allowed the other to touch him, the same with the woman who’d come before, Holly. John never allowed himself to be the vulnerable one, rarely allowed his partners to face him. Lest they see something other than smug certainty on his face, lest they see something vulnerable.  

 

They didn’t kiss, but Gabriel ghosted his lips close enough to John’s to give the illusion, any last traces of tension melted from John as he gave in. Lips still not touching they enjoyed the closeness, the idea of what could be. 

 

He pulled away trailing his lips down to press a kiss to the underside of John’s jaw, continuing down to nip at his neck. Sucking just lightly enough to avoid leaving a mark, but show John that he could. If the way John melted into the press of his lips was any indication he might just _let_ Gabriel leave a mark. 

 

But he’d pushed John enough for today, he wouldn’t ask that of him.

 

John’s hips began to stutter as he drew closer to his peak, Gabriel guiding him through it. He flicked his wrist and began his own thrusting, slick skin dragging against slick skin as the two rutted against each other. 

 

He pressed one more kiss to John’s neck, over an old scar he would never have the balls to ask about, before pulling away. His eyes trailed over his lovers face, taking in every little detail. The way sweat gleamed on his brow, the way he bit his lip so hard it looked like it might hurt. His head tilted back, brows drawn together, adams apple bobbing as he attempted to swallow the noises Gabriel was pulling from him. 

 

With a wail John came, his seed spurting out across Gabriels stomach, across the stupid tattoo of a lawnmower he had below his navel, just above his pubes. Gabriel followed soon after still stroking them, but with softer motions, as he coaxed the last traces of his lovers orgasm out of him. 

 

John turned to jelly, sagging against the taller man as fatigue overtook him. He rested his head over Gabriels heart, cheek pressed against the tattooed name of a little brother long lost. His eyes closed, eyelashes fanning over his cheek as he attempted to catch his breath.

 

The orgasm had taken a lot from him, and the release of power had taken even more. Being brave was hard, but something in him had burst and he felt incredible. He’d taken that step, a step in the right direction. Guided by Gabriel’s loving hand, he’d learned more about being courageous than he’d ever thought possible. 

 

Gabriel continued to hold him waiting for John to stiffen in his arms and give him a curt nod before leaving as he always did. But it didn’t come. When John lifted his head and looked at Gabriel there was no revulsion, no regret for what had just happened. No emotion he was used to seeing.

 

John looked grateful, cheeks dusted pink and lips swollen from being bitten. There was something in his eyes, something Gabriel couldn’t quite place, perhaps because he was afraid to. Afraid that it was just a trick of the light, of his overactive imagination. 

 

“I need-” John paused, the words spilling from his mouth. The dam had broken and now he wasn’t sure he could fix it. Did he want to? He wasn’t sure, he didn’t know what he needed. So he settled. “I need a shower.”

 

After another quick search of the mans blue eyes Gabriel nodded and pulled away, collecting his towel from the floor and heading out from the bathroom. Leaving John torn and confused, wondering where to go from there.

 

He’d been _brave_ , braver than he’d ever thought he could be. Where did he go from there?  
  


**Author's Note:**

> feedback sustains me! it is the air i breathe and the food i eat!!


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